Whyalla

From time to time I am required by my employer to travel to Whyalla, SA.

At first I struggled to find Whyalla on my paper atlas, with hindsight, this was probably because the author of the map had also been to Whyalla, and had decided to omit Whyalla because they thought it wasn't worthy of a visit.

When I'm in Whyalla, I really enjoy breathing in the heavily polluted air, I particularly enjoy getting back home and coughing up black balls of phlegm and fact that my clothes need washing several times before the graphite particles that float around in the air are removed.

Working in Whyalla is an experience though, despite being in South Australia and in the South Australian Time Zone, residents of Whyalla tend to work on 'Whyalla Time', essentially this means never turning up at an agreed time, often hours late, sometimes days, usually without any communication to say so. 

Sometimes this is because of the 'Whyalla Vortex' a local phenomenon where people or materials have been known to disappear, usually this is only temporary, but on rare occasions this is permanent.

Many of the smaller businesses in Whyalla feel that they run some sort of Mafia style operation, they do this by attempting to force use of local Whyalla businesses. For instance, if I'd eaten in a local Whyalla eatery, and had a particularly bad case of gastro the next day, I'd engage a plumber to remove the blockage in my toilet, if I were bold enough to engage a plumber from a neighbouring town, (Port Augusta) and word of this got out to the Whyalla contractor mafia collective, members of the said collective would start to inflate their prices by an unreasonable amount, in attempt have me pay for my crime.

This small town mentality is extended to the subject of travel, while some might dream of a trip to the Caribbean, Europe or an exotic trip to Asia, in Whyalla, aspirations are far more down to earth, a working trip to Wollongong is for most Whyalla residents the pinnacle of foreign travel, how disappointed many must be to spend a couple of hundred dollars on a passport, only to find that during the trip to Wollongong it is not required.

Whyalla would make a successful Micronation, its remoteness from the rest of the civilised world be a good start. Though there would have to be a name change, perhaps Mars would be an appropriate name, because of the red dust that coats the CBD area of Whyalla, it would give an idea of what an inhabited Mars might look like. 

The red dust is a serious issue, but most Whyalla residents seem to laugh it off, there is no question that the pollution originates from sections of the steelworks, recently the steel works offered to clean houses which were affected by the discoloration, take up rate was very low, presumably because the residents didn't want to upset the steelworks, given that they pretty much run the town.

The red dust is such a given in Whyalla, that many buildings are now being finished in the same red colour, presumably in defeat to the inevitable red staining of the building.