OWC

I'm not a fan of initialisms, but OWC was created to mask identities.

An Old Woman's Cock, is essentially dead wood in the working environment. 

These individuals turn up late to meetings, often as the meeting is about to end, or don't bother to turn up at all, nobody bothers to challenge their absence, because, they have nothing to add so it's a waste of ones time.

On the rare occasion that they turn up to meetings, they will report on progress with buzz phrases such as 'I'm in a holding pattern' or 'nothing to report', often the presence of an OWC at a meeting is totally overlooked because of its insignificance.

In meetings, the OWC will often mask their lack of understanding by repeating what others have just said, for regurgitating material presented by others from earlier in the meeting, after a few successful attempts using this strategy, the OWC will universally be ignored.

An OWC has a tendency for inappropriate clapping, often at the end of meetings, for no apparent reason. Usually the OWC doesn't not know he is clapping.

OWC has a stroke face which they can turn on or off at will, this is normally used to great effect in meetings, when difficult questions are being asked, the presence of a stroke face is normally enough to deflect any asking of such questions, due to pity.

On occasion, the OWC will let their guard down, by making comment on a subject, as though they were a 5 year old, this is normally followed by an extended toilet break (mid meeting), with no return, well, that toilet flush is a bit temperamental.

The OWC does generate output in the workplace, but this work is closely guarded, its not for internal distribution, and will often be hidden deeply in a folder structure, this makes finding it more of an effort than its worth.

When the OWC does generate output which is worthy of internal distribution, (normally as a paper copy, which is expected to be returned to the OWC after review, as they wouldn't want anybody plagiarsing their work), the normal route to its completion is as follows.

OWC writes a terrible document.

OWC gets a friendly colleague to review the document.

The document returns to the OWC almost completely revamped to the required standard.

OWC claims the complete work as their own.

OWC then loses the document, or decides to eat the only paper copy.